The Stupid Wiki Page About Disappearing

Every so often I troll the internet looking for information about disappearing, pseudocide and digital manipulation. It is easy to find bad information online and Wikipedia is right up there with the worst. This is a Wikipedia page that is super-dumbo-stupid.

Wiki: Pseudocide is the act of faking a person’s death in order to start a new life and/or escape in his/her responsibilities. Pseudocide in itself is not a crime but depending on the reasons and circumstances, e.g. faking death in order to avoid paying debts can send the person in a jail but a pseudocide committed in order to start a new life and not by avoiding any debts or crime is completely legal.

This makes no sense what so ever. The minute someone dials 911 and reports your faked death you have problems. When police or rescue goes out and search for a law has been broken. Plus this Wiki page is broad in it’s scope, laws differ from state to state and country to country.

Wiki: Planning – Several things must be done before “kicking the bucket.” Faking death is not an easy task and therefore careful planning is needed in order to “die.” Once the jig is up, depending on the reason of faking death, the person can either be jailed or even executed.

This is just stupid let me move to the next.

Wiki: Methods – There are several methods in which a person can fake his/her death. The most popular methods include suicide, accident and staged death.

This is stupid too let me move to the next.

Wiki: There are many popular methods of death which can be used to fake a death. All of these methods must qualify the following criteria:

There is one popular method of faking your death and that is by water. However, law enforcement knows that.

Wiki: A body is not needed to declare a person dead, or at least absence of it in a matter of time can declare a person “dead.” The act must be convincing enough to everyone.

Barrera Marquez who supposedly wrote this Wiki page doesn’t know jack about pseudocide. It is not easy to declare someone dead without a body. It can take years. Convincing would be a leg or arm to bring to court.

Wiki: Suicide is the method of taking a person’s own life. However, not all suicide ends up in death and not all suicide begins with the intention taking one’s own life.

All suicides lead to death. Failed suicides do not lead to death.

Wiki: For every suicide method, it is important for the person to leave a suicide note with reasons of “committing” suicide in order to convince everyone that the person is really going to “commit” suicide.

FBI: Oh Ted the dirty rotten scoundrel facing forty years in prison left a suicide note. Case closed let’s send some flowers to his wife and grab some beers.

Wiki: Jumping off a high bridge is a popular option. However, there are also some methods that are available in order to make “kicking the bucket” more realistic.

The best time to commit these “suicides” is nighttime wherein it will be easy to witness the “death” but it will also be difficult for them to search and spot for the “body.”

If there were a Wikipedia prison Barrera Marquez should be placed in solitary because this is the stupidest thing I have ever read. It sounds as if he is actually suggesting you jump off the bridge, hmm.

Wiki: Advantages – Convincing – All complains can be released to the world. Relatively easy to execute. No need to practice if the needed skills (e.g. swimming) are attained.

I have no clue what he means by complains. I think he is suggesting jumping off the bridge but only if you have the needed skills, swimming.

Wiki: Disadvantages – Manhunt would probably discover the “dead” person.

I suggest Barrera Marquez get a new profession and not write Wikipedia pages.

Wiki: Accident – An accident is a very convincing method of faking death especially if blended with special effects such as explosions and thus, the authorities will not suspect the death and they won’t even bother to conduct a manhunt for a body. However, careless execution would not only mean death but also an ugly face in the funeral depending on the method used.

I guess one should get some stuntman and pyro-technique training. Perhaps set up an ultra-cool crash like something from the Fast and the Furious or the Seven Ups if you’re an old guy like me.

I know I should be kind that this wiki-fool is only trying to enlighten people but saying law enforcement will not look for a body is DUMB.

Wiki: Advantages – Really convincing especially if done with explosions.  No manhunt will ever be conducted.

In my book The Digital Hit Man I teach people how to use deception to combat negative online information. This wiki page shows that anyone anywhere can write and post anything they want. Where is truth and intelligence in the digital world?

Wiki: Disadvantages – A lot of practice is needed. Careless execution can really lead to death – an ugly death.

Can you imagine practicing your TJ Hooker roll on your block for all to see? While you are rolling out of the car before it explodes your teen neighbor is videoing you and posting it on YouTube.

Wiki:  Staged Death – Staged death is a way of “dying” by other people – either death by being stabbed or by being kidnapped. However, this method is the least convincing since there will still be a chance that the people will not believe in the “death” of the person. It also the easiest as one will only need money and contract, depending on the method to be used. (e.g. being kidnapped then not ransomed will result in the victim being “killed.”)

No comment!

Wiki: Advantages – Easy.  No practice needed. – Money is the only step away from the new life.

Do not take pseudocide tips from a person whose English is their second language.

Wiki: Disadvantages – Not convincing enough but after a few months of the absence of the “body” will likely convince the police.  Chances of being revealed by the “kidnapper” is likely.

The authorities could trace the location of the “kidnapper” and then prosecuted without committing any crime.

No comment.

Wiki: Prerequisites – It is not enough to just “die,” there are several things that you do first before “pulling the trigger.” Cash – A new life is completely worthless if there will be no cash with it. It is important you will pile up a stash of cash in order to survive in the first few months of being “dead.” After the first few months, looking for a job is essential, preferably a job that won’t require a person to file taxes as this could reveal your real identity.

This idiot is suggesting you commit tax evasion. I’ve been audited twice – Don’t fuck with Uncle Sam.

Wiki: If you have a bank account, it is important to take out the money little by little to avoid suspicion. A “dead” person should not show up anymore and therefore a new look is needed in order for the “dead” person to “really” die. A new mustache style or shaving would do as well as a new hairdo.

Brilliant!

Wiki: New Identity -A new look is incomplete without a new identity, it would be necessary to file new birth certificates, new taxes and other proof-of-identification.

If these methods would be difficult, then a black market forger should do the job although it could be expensive, and that’s also one of the reason why you were required to have cash piled up. What did you think, you would enjoy holidays with that money?

Where does on find a black market forger

Wiki: Mannerisms – Once you have your new looks and identity, it is important that you remove your mannerisms to avoid being caught and/or add a different mannerism to make it more difficult to recognize you. Practicing a new foreign accent can do the job.

Repeat after me “The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plane.” I can’t keep commenting this information is all too absurd. Moral of the chapter if you plan on disappearing or faking your death do not use Wikipedia or some dumbass blog for information.

Wiki: Suicide Letter – If you prefer to “kick the bucket” by taking your own life, writing a suicide letter is a must in order to vent you frustrations including your complains and your insecurities. This will also prevent the police from taking any person in the streets as a suspect in your “death.”

Genius!

Wiki: Getaway Vehicle – Do not ever try to walk with your face shown up when you “die,” get a car and presumably a car which has a tinted glass in order to conceal your identity while you drive into your “new” life. Also, be careful in driving and whatever you do, do not violate a traffic rule until you change your identity as it can actually spill the beans. Giving the police a chase is not a good idea either.

Tinted windows are the key element when you hit the road.

Wiki: Do not Blab -Making noise can literally kick up the jig so be careful not to reveal your plans even to your most trusted loved ones and friends.

I guess he meant the jig is up and loose lips sink ships.

Wiki: Plan Ahead – When you have found your new life, what company are you going to apply to for a job? Where are you going to live? Better plan and try to go there once before you “die” to familiarize yourself. Also, once you “die,” do not live in the very same city where you once “lived.”

Not sure what to comment.

Wiki: Execution -The night before you “die,” do not take your clothes or anything. Leave everything behind and bring only money and wear clothes that you will need on your “new” life. A dead person doesn’t need material things and neither do you. Also, don’t forget to leave your suicide note if you need one.

Yeah, makes total sense.

Wiki: It is advisable to die at night since it will be easy for everyone to see you “die” but also it will be easy for you to run away when they begin to look for you. If there are only a few in the place of your “death,” better find a new one instead of calling a friend and then saying you are going to “commit” suicide or bringing him/her to watch you “die.”

I guess this is either the big bridge jump or the TJ Hooker roll from an exploding car.

At first I was not going to include this information in the book but I write for the common man. Not everyone is smart so at times things must be dumbed down.

Sometimes dumb things should be addressed.

Wiki: Reminders – It is important to remember these pointers before you “die:” Make sure that the things you need for your “new” life are already there so that you will not have the trouble of going back to your “old” house just to get your stash of cash.

Do it on night so it will easy for the people to witness your “death” but it will also be difficult for them to look for you.

Do it in the woods so that you can hide easily.   Execute your “death” in a timely manner.

Do not resurface in the same place where you “died” if you jumped off a high bridge.

It is better to “die” with the people you don’t know since they won’t recognize you as easily as your friends or relatives.

Leave some valuables (except money) near the place you “died” to convince others that you really “died.” These can include torn identification cards, credit cards and cell phones; will a dead person need this anyway?

Memorize your escape plan and prepare a getaway car nearby. Also, put a box near the vicinity of your “death” for your transformation kit.

Transformation Kit – A transformation kit is a box wherein all the things you need to change your appearance are located. These can include: – Fake mustache –  A jacket –  A hat –    Glasses – Pants –  Wig. The transformation kit is not limited to these objects and you can actually try cross-dressing so that the people won’t even suspect you.

Important: The transformation kit should not include items similar to those that you wore during your “death.”

Sometimes how to, is how not to!

Frank M. Ahearn – http://www.Disappear.Info

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