Client Fakes Death

Sometimes, I share a story about a client or two, with their permission of course. One such client, a short rotund fellow named Humpty Dumpty contacted me and requested my assistance to help him disappear. Humpty met a girl named Alice, who slipped through the looking glass. The short conversation got Humpty to thinking about the world beyond his wall. Perhaps there was love on the other side.  Humpty approached the King and asked to be relieved of his wall duties but his request was denied. On the next full moon Humpty sat on his wall dreaming of far off places. It was decided, he would disappear.

I flew to Innsbruck, Austria and met up Humpty at Café Katzung. Humpty had a fine order of tomato and toast and I went straight for a triple shot latte. Humpty’s fear was that if he jumped down off the wall and thumbed it out of town, all the Kings horses and all the Kings men would come and find Humpty Dumpty again. A valid fear in the world of disappear, since disappear day is the most vulnerable act in a disappearance. One never knows who and where the danger lurks when taking that first step out the door to freedom. In addition, Humpty is not the most mobile, he somewhat wobbles when he walks.

While working on his second strudel, Humpty lays it on me. His plan, is to do a little pseudocide (fake death). He tells me that, while on his wall, he will have a great fall. The Kings men will believe he is dead and he will disappear. Again, I was not crazy about the idea of Humpty checking himself out in such a way but, it is his life. To make a long story short, Humpty took his fall and faked his death.

The problem is, the King never believed Humpty was dead and had a guard do a little digging. Well, talk about egg on face. Humpty left a digital trail like you wouldn’t believe. Humpty did all of his internet searching from his wall and hit up a blog about disappearing. That blog had the ability to capture his all of search terms. Humpty Dumpty is now in the hunt!

Frank M. Ahearn
Author of: The Art of Disappearing: 199 Essential Privacy and Disappearing Tips


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